Dear Tim (a villanelle)

 

The railroad tracks still read your name.

Memories of you bring tears to my eyes.

Driving by will never be the same.

 

At the time it all may have seemed like a game

But surely it wasn’t worth the high.

The railroad tracks still read your name.

 

When I heard the news, I hung my head in shame

Since I hadn’t said goodbye,

And driving by will never be the same.

 

For the next three months your recovery came.

We were not worried, you were the strongest guy.

The railroad tracks still read your name.

 

Then, three months later your life was claimed

And now everyone can only ask, Why?

Driving by will never be the same.

 

The picture of us that’s now frozen and framed

Will sit on my desk, with my heart nearby.

The railroad tracks still read your name,

Driving by will never be the same.

Kelly Christensen, ‘08

 

 

 

 

 

Tim's Cousin Dave wrote this on his myspace blog.  Tim's family wanted to share it with everyone.

Tim my beloved cousin

this goes out to all my family that i can't physically see at the moment

i just want to let all of you know that the grieving time is over... its time to lift up our heads and give God the glory and Praise... God gave us the Gift of Life and He Gives us the Gift of Death we have to rejoice to the Lord on both occasions... even if it is hard for us to accomodate...

Jeff i know your taking it hard man but wipe those tears away and look forward to seeing Tim in heaven another day: right now God has plans for all of us and Satan uses death as a curtain to blind us from the map God drew for us

Yes we're going to see things we don't want to see and hear things we don't want to hear but be deaf to the devil, be blind to the devil, be lame so you don't walk into his traps... God has something bigger for us and we never going to see it if we don't look up starting right now....

Trust me on this my family, If we give God the glory, honor, praise, and worship He deserves God can't do anything but bless beyond supurfluous magnitude... God knows that every human he created will go through joy, which is suffer now so you can be happy later

Guys i have feeling that God is going to start revealing more than he ever did right now and Tim was a big part of it... Tim said on his myspace that if he were to die, he would do it heroically... and you know what he did... i have a feeling that Timmy did God's will, Tim died to put some or keep some of us on track of our faith... honestly any child of God willing to do his Fathers bidding is a hero cause Jesus never said being a Christain was going to be easy

 So as i conclude be strong find your comfort spot on the front lines of war and put on the Armor of God, know your word cause the Enemy is strong when we don't have Jesus to back us up... right now we're fighting depression and a spiritual war... don't let secular things like death take away your sight from giving God glory for the very breath you just took... be strong build your house for God on the foundation you have in your heart, smile and thank God and everything that is good will fall unto your lap
i love you all
Dave Lautermilch
"Tim's Cousin"

A Letter to a Friend, by Mary Bailey
Please dear friend
Don't say to me the old clichés
Time heals all wounds
God only gives you as much as you can bear
Life is for living...
Just say the thoughts of your heart
I'm sorry, I love you, I'm here, I care
Hug me and squeeze my hand
I need your warmth and strength.
 
Please don’t drop your eyes when I am near
I feel so rejected now by God and man
Just look in my eyes and let me know that you are with me.
 
Don't think you must always be strong for me
It's ok to cry
It tells me how much you care
Let me cry, too
It's so lonely to always cry alone.
 
Please keep coming by even after many weeks have passed
When the numbness wears off the pain of grief is unbearable.
Don't ever expect me to be quite the same
How can I be when part of my being is here no more.
 
But please know, dear friend, with your love, support and understanding
I will live and love again and be grateful everyday
                        that I have you-dear friend.

lyrics to the song Tim’s friends shared at the funeral

Hope that you held high
Now stands before your eyes
In your Savior’s arms
He won’t let go


You lived your life with grace
Now you are home
Your in the highest place
Where your soul belongs


My Brother your pain is no more
Forever now you stand before the Lord
Your spirit is set free
Now you dance with the king


Though your time was short
Your memory remains
Oh you touched our hearts
With a smile on your face


Though we miss you now
And wish you were here
You have been restored
And we will meet again


My Brother your pain is no more
Forever now you stand before the Lord
Your spirit is set free
Now you dance with the King


You are Home
You are home
You are home
You are home


My Brother your pain is no more
Forever now you stand before the Lord
Your spirit is set free
Now you dance with the King
Your spirit is set free
Now you dance with the King
Now you dance with the King



When our time comes
To depart from this world
We will see you then
And rejoice in the Lord